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Posted by Christo Watkins on March 13, 2004, 6:59 pm, in reply to "Re: My marriage in shambles"
196.25.253.13
Hi
Thanks for your response. I will pray for you as well.
When I am away from my wife I cry the whole time, wishing I can see her again. When she is with me, I hurt so much because of the loveless look in her eyes. I have cried more in two weeks than any man can cry in his whole lifetime.
This morning (Sunday) it dawned on me that she is now going to leave me. Our final meeting with our pastor is Tuesday evening 16 Mar 2004 at 18h30 (South African Time). This is going to be a formality as I am sure she is going to say 'Bye'.
Saturday morning I went to sleep requesting God not to let me wake up. I just want to pass away as the pain I am experiencing is like a continuous heart attack.
I cannot see myself loving ever again. I see myself growing old (as God let me woke up Saturday morning) and dying alone.
What is life for? She is my life. Without her there is NOTHING, only emptiness and desolation. This week I declared my love for her - probably the last time ever - and said: "You are the most precious gemstone ever given to my by God, more precious than life itself, more precious than the sun rising every day, more precious than the moon rising at night, more precious than the very air I breath - That is why I love you." She replied and my heart jumped liked a gazelle when I received her SMS "Thank you my husband..." (That was Wednesday. On Thursday she she told me to 'get out of her face')
She asked for breathing space - yes, I understand.
I realized I need to show her my love every day - This I have done - God nearly worked a miracle.
The only way I can show my love is to tell her, help her with small things around the house, be with her.
Maybe I stuffed up by trying too hard this time - I do not know.
What is life...?
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