Posted by Crystal on 8/7/2006, 10:21 am, in reply to "Emotions"
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Most of us left by a mate in Mid-Life Crisis did not want the relationship to end. Hard to take but the choice to end things is all the Mid-Lifers, we were given no choice. There are no answers, another hard one to swallow in all of this. The one in a Mid-Life Crisis has decided to leave and nothing said or done can stop it. You did the best you could, but it takes 2 willing people to keep a relationship intact. Once they decide to leave, the relationship is over on his side. We do try to hang on to what "Was" over seeing it as a thing of the past. Makes us hope that they will get over this and all will be the same once again. (Not true!) At times, false hope seems better than facing the true facts. That life was one we helped build over years and you can't expect to get over it right away. So give yourself time! Forget how/what he is feeling or not feeling! The mid-lifer will do just fine, those left are the ones that struggle with loss of self-worth, frustration, anger, fear over what the future holds, and 1001 other emotions. Holding on to what is no longer there, will keep you from healing and having any peace in life. The mid-lifer is NOT worth having the way he is now.... All of us go through a stubborn stage where we fight the fact the mid-lifers are chasing lost youth and do not want us any longer. They want freedom, a feeling of no responsibility, a natural high that comes from the unknown. We just want to have our life back! Communication is the one thing that keeps relationships open and flowing. From what you said, that was not a part of life with your almost ex. You deserve to have someone willing to share life with you, someone grown up enough to know how important you are to him! Give yourself time. Each of us has their own timetable of how long it takes to sort out all the feelings. You won't feel like going out, but it helps to do this. Here are a couple links that may help you: Surviving Divorce & Separation: Coping Skills http://www.divorcesource.com/info/surviving/coping.shtml Treat yourself as your best friend Be patient with yourself Forgive yourself Coping With Separation or Divorce (Look under Love and Sex Topic) http://www.ivillage.com/archive/a2z/