Posted by Tom on 7/3/2006, 10:52 am
24.52.115.50

Hi all. Many here are a a key place in their dealing with MLC. You either are through the worst of the matter, or you are nearing the point that you are finializing the legal and other technical parts of this terrible situation. Emotionally and mentally you may not be as far along as you are legally. If that is the case it may help if you knew what state you should be striving for mentally. I know everyone does not fit into a neat box all the time here, but, many need to know that "complacency" would be the state that would give you some relief of the daily thoughts that go through your head. Not caring what they think, do, go, or with. Feeling "nothing" when their name comes up. Feeling "nothing" when you see them. Feeling "nothing" when you find an old picture. That is what you are shooting for. That is the place you want to go. It is not easy, and you have to work on it. But, once there, that freedom is the conduit that will allow your Happiness to recover. You see, their daily draining of our happiness is why we feel bad. When that is stopped, we make short work of providing ourselves with the necessary smiles to build our happiness back. My x has moved on from the 1st sole mate, to a second, and now the 3rd. I truely only smile when her name comes up. I feel nothing and cherish that compared to what I felt nearly 5 yrs ago. I sat at this same computer listening to all the advice and words of others, and knew that I wanted to rid myself of her control. I was not easy, but when it happened I so much wanted to share that with others here. We are a work in progress. We cannot sit back and allow ourselfs to "wollow". We are the stronger of the relationship in most all cases. We know what is right. We just have to get over our shock state, and then we get to work. Be complacent. Be kind. Be yourself. Time is the killer, but after giving yourself some, get back out there. Take care Tom Happy 4th