Posted by Mike on 6/27/2006, 5:02 pm, in reply to "Re: Pain And Confusion"
66.242.194.7

The "MLCer" is allowed to waltz into and out of their "old life" as if nothing happened, disturbing and tormenting people they supposedly loved. Somehow we are expecting to deal with something that has no laws only wedding vows that are broken. Yes, Lorrie that can drive you crazy with sorrow, rage, frustration as the life we built is slowly disected by a madman and not even close relatives can see or want to deal with or acknowledge what has happened. I knew what I had to do back then. I knew I had to be strong and I did what I had to do just as you are now, but it seemed that with the slow progress I was making a new problem was created because the X was still there,poking her head in wreaking havoc on my life, on my childrens lives. Lorrie, I know where you are coming from! Something needs to be done about the actions of the MLCer. Someone has to stop them. He has NO rights to YOUR house anymore. He is a stranger in YOUR house. If he wants to come over to supposedly see his son then that he the only thing he should be doing. As far as taking the children for the weekend and not wanting to, I went through the same thing with my X. It was about two to three months before she took them for a weekend visit. So sad for the children, but worse was when she was suppose to take them and backed out. When I saw their disappointment it broke my heart and that is when I decided NO MORE!! I will not tell you to be strong, because I know you are. You know what you have to do. I will reinforce the advice by both Tom and Helen. There is nothing you can do to them, that will come in time. My 18 year old graduated on Monday. He was four when she left. I put him on the school bus in kindergarten for the first time. She was gone from his life by then. In all those years her only contact has been some visits and phone calls. No, she was not there to see him graduate. She is paying the price now and forever more. Like Tom and Helen said, hard to understand now, but through the passing of time, the pain gets less and less for you, until one day, indifference takes the place of pain. For them, happy as they may appear,not the case, and that is why they torment. Yes, find friends, someone that will understand, that you can lean on to help you through this. Thinking of you and your children! Mike