Posted by Mike on 6/27/2006, 4:41 pm, in reply to "Re: Back to Basics..."
66.242.194.7

Gina, I am right there with you, to help you. Honestly I know how you feel. It is an overwhelming, terribly defeating feeling, I know!! The mind is extremely powerful and you have to trick it. You are making progress, you just do not realize how much you are making. It is because you are surrounded by the memories of the past and are full of worry. Worry, try not to. What I mean by that is there are a lot of unknowns, unknowns that can fill your day to the point you cannot eat, cannot sleep. You have to try to remain as objective as you can. For example the seperation papers. You did a hell of a job getting a lawyer, getting the information as you wanted it! Celebrate that! Do not worry when you get it back or how the X is going to react. They hate everything anyway, they are very unhappy people....trust me on that!! Now your mind starts to think more in a positive direction. Now you start to want to do something. You have children, big advantage. Never ask how their "date" with dad was. No win situation there, oh no. You take them out, ask them what is going on in their lives. Take them to the park,some activity, anything. I had smaller children, 4 year old and 12 year old. We use to play rock band with tennis rackets as guitars and pots for drums. We made a lot of noise and we were all laughing, having a good time, it was corny but it was fun and it was free! I remember one day we were listening to the rock band "Queen", "We are the champions was the album". I guess the door bell rang for about 15 minutes before we heard it. That will get the focus off of you and "disarm" your mind. Then things start to roll in a more positve direction. You have to take that first step which is usually just getting off the floor, taking a shower and walking out of the house. Suddenly you feel more human and this is when you keep going and do something, anything. Next day, same thing. When you catch yourself worrying and your mind starts to take over your body again, remember what you did the last time that made you feel a little better and do it again! It just takes that one time. It worked for me. Thinking of you Gina! Mike