Posted by Meeyu on 6/20/2006, 10:19 pm, in reply to "Re: Mutual friends"
66.81.154.127

Dear Kathy, For the moment, take vitamins and stay sane and focus on the Marital Settlement Agreement. Do not be distracted. Indeed they must be good people and very sincere. And anything to ease your pain at this horrible time is not wrong. Still, please consider politely declining their kind invitations, but invite them to visit you together or individually instead. Only then could they realize you have been DETACHED from them too by your mlcer. Let's not even pretend to go on the same as if only without the mlcer. Only then could the first steps toward anything begin anew, out of the old shadow. More than likely, however, they would opt NOT to visit you. There IS an invisible line that they rather YOU cross toward their comfort zone. This is not about showing an attitude. You would feel more empowered when they leave after their visit; they would have a glimpse of your new life, one that includes having tea with new and old friends in your new surrounding. You see as they would see, that the sun shines into your home nevertheless. On the other hand, you may feel gutted out after you visit them and then go home to isolation, at night, when it's dark. Meet at a neutral place if you must. In fact don't visit THEIR places until you are duly perfect again..someday. The aforementioned does not apply to YOUR family and friends. These are the tremendously sad early days. Every step toward divorce is like going to the guillotine, and then the blade drops over and over as memories and news recur and occur. That's how the mind and heart work. Just wait to hit numbness and then it sustains longer as you are worn out. Pray.