Posted by kathy on 6/13/2006, 7:09 am, in reply to "Re: Back to Basics..."
66.76.223.27

Gina, It's been only 2 mos. since my STBX left and just over 3 wks since I found out he left me for another woman. A year of wondering why he was changing and so depressed. I was hoping right up until he admitted her out of his own mouth that this would turn out to be some kind of nightmare. I have cried buckets and hurt so bad inside I thought it was more than I could endure, surely this would kill me. Today, I am having a good day, or at least a good morning. Talking helps, it makes it more real. I have been blessed with many people who are willing to listen. Not seeing him helps, I don't have to look for regret in his eyes and easier to think objectively and realize I will never see it. If he ever feels it, I will never know. I lost my oldest son in an accident 26 years ago and can recognize this for what it is, grief. We can come back from this! Remember the old saying, "that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger". Be patient with yourself, grief has stages that you MUST go through. Everyone here has advised you to set boundaries, do it. Reclaim your home for yourself and children. Don't let him intrude himself into your life any more than necessary. He's made his choice, let him live with it; make him live with it. One of HIS friends told me "the first time he knows you've gone on with your life without him, when he sees you somewhere laughing, or sees you with someone else, it will tear his guts out but he won't let you know". I'm not there yet, but it gives me a goal and something else to plan for and think about besides living in the past because I don't want it to be a sham when it happens, I want it to be the truth. The same can happen for you, Gina. We will live, and thrive and laugh again. Hold on to my hand and all the others here. We'll do it together.