Posted by Gina on 6/10/2006, 9:43 pm, in reply to "Re: Back to Basics..."
216.98.69.254

I don't know how you and everyone else does/did it. I am so depressed I keep having really bad thoughts. I can't seem to move forward. I went last week and filed separation papers but have not heard from my atty to know when they will be ready. I'm scared stbx will not like what's in the agreement and there will be a big uproar. I don't want to fight over medial things. He was here today, to take kids to eat of course. He is always very nice and talkative and it literally breaks my heart every time he walks out the door. When he left I was wishing he would just die. I feel horrible for having such thoughts in my head. I don't want this divorce but it's going to happen. I don't know that I will ever be happy again. I didn't leave the house all day today. I know I should get out of the house and live my life but I have always had him and I don't know how to do anything on my own. He's been with me for over half my life. I didn't eat all day, just can't find the energy or desire to eat. I need to be wanted and loved again. I am so lonely and depressed. Does the mlc'er ever look back and regret everything he put the person that loved him more than anything through? Do they care? Are they really happy or just act it when they are around us?