Posted by Marvella on 5/24/2006, 8:32 am, in reply to "Help, You were so right"
68.146.222.104

Hi Kathy, please don't beat yourself up for what HE DID. They change, overnight or over time it really doesn't matter. So many people told me that there wasn't any answers to some of this and in the early times for me that wasn't good enough. I wanted answers. Now I just accept that they change. I spent a very long time grieving. Grieving losses of friends, a job and things that were taken from me. It was hell on earth for me. I stayed away from him or it as I called him for a time. I do believe that we have to separate the person we loved and believed them to be from what they have become. I didn't want to watch as he changed and hearing stories of his ridiculous antics was painful at first, now I just shake my head. When I cut off contact and got a good lawyer he made every attempt to contact me. He didn't want to talk with me for months but when I had had enough he changed his mind. AGAIN. Expect these things Kathy. They go back and forth and if he knows that you want him to pick up his stuff he won't just to spite you. As for his new life. Whatever. That is what they think but just like the new car smell it wears off. I see my X doing the same things over and over again since this started. When he left it was a fancy apartment, then a fancy condo and now a fancy house with a huge mortgage. People that tell me are making fun of him for being so foolish. I just wonder when he is going to wear himself out and want to be there for my daughter so she stays stable this time. She went off the deep end with him the first time. So Kathy, get a good lawyer. Be prepared for his renewed attentions once you do. Once the fight over a divorce is over then grieve your losses one day a time. Being angry is justified but try your best not to let it turn to bitterness, make plans for you. I am still waiting for my X to get his come around but I don't think about it as must as I once did. Take care,