Posted by Dawn on 3/25/2003, 6:31 pm, in reply to "Re: Uncle Earl/lyrics/life,etc."
64.139.64.163
Jo addresses many valid points that does not receive much attention by other artists, the DV information is in addition to the subject of prostitution as mentioned in the previous posting.
In regards to men being abused, it does exist. HOWEVER, the amount of men being abused by women is FAR less than women being abused by men. It's also rare for men to report the abuse, but again it's still very rare when compared to women being abused.
More often than when a woman fights back (whether physically or verbally, my male colleagues have reported the repetition of the abuser trying to solicit empathy to avoid responsibility for his actions.
There is help available for men who are being abused, just as there is help for women being abused.
However, for an abuser to say he's being abused is his way of denying the problem exists.
There are many wonderful organizations and social service agencies led by men in helping other men to stop the violence against women, whether it is physical/verbal/emotional/sexual abuse.
The posting is also a vehicle that may possibly save a woman's life whether a woman or a friend or family member reads the posting. It also serves as a vehicle so that if someone reading the posting recognizes the abusive behavior in a man they may know.
This is a very difficult subject and people get defensive or don't want to get involved in helping. The important thing is to recognize the seriousness of this subject and many musicians are becoming more vocal in certain areas to help make a difference in peoples lives for the better.
I can't imagine this posting being a detriment to anyone, it just may save someone's life. It may just help a woman get out of an abusive relationship whether she or someone close to her reads this and passes it onto her. It may just help out an abusive male who may stumble across this posting or someone close to him is brave enough to tell him he needs to get help.
This can save or make a difference in someone's life who may otherwise continue on a downward path of losing their life (whether it's through murder or suicide) or face incarceration for murder.
Unfortunately many males who verbally/emotionally abuse women accuse women of being the abusers to once again avoid responsibility or deny they are being abusive. My male colleagues who lead the batterers groups see this quite often and it's extremely difficult.
When we lead the women's groups, it has nothing to do with "men bashing" in fact we work very closely with the men facilitating the groups to increase the success rate of men and women NOT having to ever endure DV in their future relationships. We see the women who have suffered the devestation of the "mind games" and being told it's there fault as a way of the males justifying the abuse and both groups are there as support to encourage changes in behavior to permanently end the cycle of DV.
The bottom line is that it's NEVER okay to use physical abuse against ANYONE, nor is it ever okay to be verbally/emotionally abusive to make someone feel like they are inferior or to control them through any type of threats to instill fear or intimidation.
The root of DV is from childhood where children have witnessed their mother (sorry, but this is the majority of the gender being abused)being assaulted by the father or boyfriend.
Children live what they learn, if you teach violence against women or if you refer to women in degrading terms, then the child thinks it's "okay" and the increase of teen domestic violence is on the rise.
It's not so much of a matter of is this necessary to put on the message board and my answer is YES! IT MAY JUST MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN OR SAVE SOMEONE'S LIFE!!!!!
Due to your concern about men being abused, have you considered a career in social work and DV to make a change and teach men that it's not okay to physically/verbally/emotionally/sexually abuse women at any time, for any reason?
We most certainly could use more men in the DV field who are willing to serve as healthy role models in putting an end to the DV cycle FOREVER!
I'm hoping Jo will seriously consider these messages in reaching out to her fans through more of her music whether solo or with Uncle Earl.
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