Posted by Dawn on 3/24/2003, 7:25 pm
64.139.64.163
Jo,
I saw you awhile back at one of your gigs and I've also heard your work with Uncle Earl. I personally prefer Uncle Earl, the harmonies are flawless and the musicianship is quite amazing, but again that's my preference. By the way, your website for Uncle Earl is very limited, so it's not possible to post messages there.
I thought the response you gave to Dan (surely there must be more people who have heard your work with Uncle Earl!)was interesting in regards to not selling your "ass", which is rare for musicians not to do. Just a suggestion, you may want to seriously consider discontinuing the thongs and boxer shorts if your opposed to selling your ass, since these items revolve around selling sex.
I applaud you in your efforts in counseling prostitutes and in regards to lyrics, I find that life experiences make the best lyrics, the more personal, the stronger the song.
An issue that is somewhat connected to prostitution is domestic violence. Sadly enough, there are women who are scared to death of their abusers and are forced into prostituion, and let's face it many prostitutes are beaten by their pimps.
Perhaps someday society will stop this insanity of pornography (which unfortunately exploits not only women, but minor children-runaways)strip clubs (again, many "women" are actually minors, but the "owners" make sure they have fake ID. Furthermore, the majority of these women were sexually abused as children)and treating women like second class citizens.
This is quite sad that in 2003, women are still being beaten and raped. Luckily the laws are changing and now if a woman is beaten by her husband/boyfriend and she is too afraid to press charges, the police will automatically arrest him!
Unfortunately, things have not changed much in regards to verbal/emotional abuse. The story is pretty much the same where the woman takes full responsibility that does not belong to her in the first place and the reply is universal, "He doesn't hit me, he never has, but I wish he would, just to get it over with.
Both forms of domestic violence are unacceptable.
The only difference is with physical violence the bruises eventually clear up and the broken bones eventually heal, but the verbal/emotional abuse is like a cancerous tumor that continues to spread.
Every woman needs to know that it is NEVER okay for her husband/boyfriend to speak to her in a manner that is cruel/offensive/degrading and demeaning. In other words women are NOT b###hes, whores, sluts, etc.
Onto controlling behavior, this is done to intimidate and cause fear in a woman so that she second guesses everything she knows, believes, etc. about her self or her safety.
Abusive men threaten to get her fired, take the children away, turn her family against her, turn her friends against her and in due time isolates her from everything and everyone she loves.
Abusive men NEVER accept responsibility for their actions and when the police show up, they are as cool as a cucumber and the typical response is, "I don't know what's gotten into her." Hence, the abuser avoids responsibility.
Abusive men are of any race, any age, any religious preference or lack of religious preference, any income level, etc.
What makes it the most difficult is for society to accept that the "guy next door" is an abuser. They are pleasant/polite/charming/well-mannered/well-behaved in public, they have good paying jobs or a successful career, nice house, and possibly even a community pillar.
HOWEVER...Behind closed doors, they are the woman's WORST NIGHTMARE!!!!!
It's nothing uncommon for women who are verbally/emotionally abused that they are terrified when the abuser starts screaming and swearing at them and constantly threatening them.
These women have little to NO self-esteem and sadly enough they believe they don't deserve any better and the abuser constantly reminds them of that. The women are afraid to report this, seek help, or leave since they fear no one will believe them, again the abuser makes sure she is constantly reminded that she is the one who is sick and no one will believe her.
Abusers NEVER take responsibility and will ALWAYS blame the woman.
Jo, I'm sure you've heard these stories from your clients too and again I applaud you for working with them.
My hopes are that someday these women will learn to love themselves enough so that when a "man" treats them like a second class citizen and tries to treat her with anything less than the love and respect she deserves, that she'll show them door IMMEDIATELY!
Thank you for being there to help these women out, I'm in the trenches to helping the ones who have found the courage to leave or are putting a plan together to leave their abusers.
Thank you for letting me share this with you and your fans.
Dawn
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