Posted by airhead on 8/25/2005, 5:50 am
> You Might be a Redneck Pilot If...
>
> ...your stall warning horn plays "Dixie."
>
> ...your cross-country flight plan uses flea markets as
> check points.
>
> ...you think sectionals charts should show trailer
> parks.
>
> ...you've ever used moonshine as avgas.
>
> ...you have mud flaps on your wheel pants.
>
> ...you think GPS stands for going perfectly straight.
>
> ...your toothpick keeps poking your mike.
>
> ...you constantly confuse Beechcraft with Beechnut.
>
> ...you have a black airplane with a big #3 on the
> side.
>
> ...you've ever just taxied around the airport drinking
> beer.
>
> ...you use a Purina feed bag for a windsock.
>
> ...you've ever fueled your airplane from a mason jar.
>
> ...you've got a gun rack on the passenger window.
>
> ...you have more than one roll of duct tape holding
> your cowling together.
>
> ...your preflight includes removing all of the clover,
> grass, and wheat from your landing gear.
>
> ...you figure the weight of the mud and manure on your
> airplane into the CG calculations.
>
> ...you siphon gas from your tractor to put in your
> airplane.
>
> ...you've never landed at an actual airport though
> you've been flying for years.
>
> ...you've ground looped after hitting a cow.
>
> ...there are parts of your airplane labeled John
> Deere.
>
> ...there's exhaust residue on the right side of your
> aircraft and tobacco stains on the left.
>
> ...you have to buzz the strip to chase off the sheep
> and goats.
>
> ...your primary Comm radio has 90 channels.
>
> ...you put hay in the baggage compartment so your dogs
> don't get cold.
>
> ...you've got matching bumper stickers on the vertical
> fin.
>
> ...there's grass stains on your propeller tips.
>
> ...the FAA still thinks you live at your parent's
> house.
>
> ...you navigate with your ADF tuned to exclusively
> country stations.
>
> ...you think that an ultralight is a new sissy beer
> from Budweiser.
>
> ...you wouldn't be caught dead flyin' a Grumman
> "Yankee."
>
> ...there's a sign on the side of your aircraft
> advertising your septic tank service.
>
> ...you subscribe to The Southern Aviator because of
> the soft paper!
>
> ...you have ever incorporated sheetrock into the
> repair of your aircraft.
>
> ...you have ever tried to impress your girlfriend by
> buzzing her doublewide.
>
> ...the preprinted portion of your weight and balance
> sheet contains "Case of Bud."
>
> ...your go/no-go checklist includes the words "Skoal"
> or "Redman
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