Some adult truths > > > > 1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive > times and still not know what time it is. > > > > 2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument > when you realize you're wrong. > > > > 3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to > nap when I was younger. > > > > 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. > > > > 5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? > > > > 6. Was learning cursive really necessary? > > > > 7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on > #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my > neighborhood. > > > > 8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told > you how the person died. > > > > 9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least > kind-of tired. > > > > 10. Bad decisions make good stories. > > > > 11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a > moment when you know that you just aren't going to do > anything productive for the rest of the day. > > > > 12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after > Blu-ray? I don't want to have to restart my > collection...again > > > > 13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of > Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my > ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any > changes to. > > > > 14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just > so I know not to answer when they call. > > > > 15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well. > > > > 16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given > Friday or Saturday more kisses begin with Miller Light than > Kay. > > > > 17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" > routing option. > > > > 18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between > boredom and hunger. > > > > 19. How many times is it appropriate to say > "What?" before you just nod and smile because you > still didn't hear or understand a word they said? > > > > 20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of > cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. > Stay strong, brothers and sisters! > > > > 21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants > never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. > > > > 22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating > their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and > Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone > can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in > about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time. > > > > 23. As soon as you find something at the grocery store that > you really like, they will either move it or the company > will discontinue it. > > > > 24. The driving of all the other people on the road has > become markedly worse in the past few years. > > > > 25. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was > used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in > 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize > that their brain is also important. > > > > Life just gets better as you get older, doesn't > it?
on November 25, 2014, 10:24 am