Posted by Jay Jay's Liver on February 2, 2009, 8:39 am, in reply to "Anyone for a fry up?"
86.3.7.139
Thought the thread was "Asomvel for a fry up"
No doubt the lads would like one anyway, though I have heard that Lenny character likes a custard cream or two.
Anyway, great post Englebert - cheers mate. How about a guide to where to get the best discount jazz mags?
--Previous Message--
: Many people will have noticed the current lack
: of good old British Working Man's Cafes. A
: decline in the British way of life itself.
: Gone has the humble, ye olde cafe, only to
: be replaced by trendy cafés (note the
: foreign accent) featuring salads and red
: wine on their menus.
:
:
:
: And if it's not them it's these bleedin'
: Sandwich Bars: £2 for a roll that's full of
: rabbit food! A fat bird behind the counter
: with peroxide hair and tacky gold chains
: dangling from her neck as she serves you is
: obligatory. She will always squeeze your
: slices as she puts them into the bag, just
: to ensure a bit of mayonnaise squirts out
: onto her finger, so the gluttonous cow can
: wop her index finger into her mouth like a
: dart hitting a bullseye. The sandwiches will
: be filled with salad, as she's scoffed most
: of the meat whilst slicing it up earlier;
: the "Oohh... just a little slither of
: this beef won't ruin my diet" scenario
: is repeated a hundred times, effectively
: culling a herd of cattle in a morning and
: leaving nothing but gristle for the punters'
: baps.
:
:
:
: We can also point the greasy spoon of woe at
: the fast food burger chains. The term
: "fast food" derives not from the
: speedy service but from how quickly the
: alleged burger vanishes into water as soon
: as it hits your tongue. This is why they put
: those horrible green things on top of the
: burger: it delays how fast this junk
: disappears, as you spend ten minutes fishing
: the thing out, taking far longer than it
: takes to eat the burger itself.
:
: And if you get a soft drink, they fill the
: carton up with half of Mont Blanc. I
: honestly thought they was doing a promotion
: for the Titanic movie when I recently bought
: one.
:
: And all this crap now rules the roost on the
: pre-evening meal front in this country.
:
: Youth are now often oblivious to what a good
: old 'George Best and Rosey' is (Bacon, Egg,
: Sausage, Tomato and Tea). The Great British
: Breakfast in Full Monty is what our heritage
: and stomachs demand. Bacon, egg, sausage,
: beans, mushrooms, black pudding, fried slice
: with two of toast and a mug of tea, all
: floating in a sea of grease. (For foreign
: readers: black pudding is a recipe of pig's
: blood, sheep's brains and goat's bollocks,
: with a dash of eye of newt and wing of bat,
: all rolled into a burger-type format. It is
: absolutely vile, but everyone pretends they
: love it for some odd reason.)
:
: Transport Cafes are as much a British
: institution as the food itself. The
: proprietor is always called Jim or George
: and he defies gravity with the amount of
: dirt under his fingernails, defies logic
: with his bullshit over football and politics
: (no-one argues as they don't want him to
: spit in their food) and defies accusations
: of witchcraft by making sure that no-one is
: looking when he picks fried eggs out of the
: pan with his fingers.
:
:
:
: Seated in a Great British Traditional
: Working Man's Cafe will always be an old man
: with a Sainsbury's carrier bag, an
: electrician whose big mouth everyone wants
: to thump and, most importantly of all, where
: else but in the cafe will you find telecom,
: gas or council workers? If you had an
: emergency, rain or shine, eight hours a day,
: you will find them there
:
: Thus, we are not only gradually losing our
: heathen diet, but also a secure community
: meeting place. We must defend and save what
: few essentially British things we have left.
:
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